07/09/2011

So, as I mentioned the other day, I needed to go and see my doctor yesterday, otherwise right about now I’d probably be whining that I’m in pain because my stomach medication ran out.
I actually managed to get up and leave the house reasonably early and luckily none of the stupid things that happened last time occurred again, so we got there before it closed for the morning. It was pretty busy inside though, there were five or six people before me. I’m not sure how long we actually waited for, but it felt like a really long time and I was beginning to feel rather anxious. When it came to my turn I actually went in by myself, rather than with my dad who usually comes in so that I don’t shut down or something. I told the doctor about what I’d been up to lately, and it was all fine until he asked about friends. I may have lied a little and made out that I have friends visit more often than I do, I don’t know why, I guess I just feel pathetic saying that I hardly ever spend time with people that I’m not related to… Whatever!

We then met my sister and stopped for a drink in a cafe before going to a few shops, I mentioned that I needed to get some felt soon so my dad suggested that rather than going straight to Tesco, we could get the bus up to NF so that I could get some. I had to sit on the top deck of the bus, which so far (you know, since I started getting out) I haven’t done. I didn’t particularly like it, I much prefer to be close to an exit.
When we got off I went to the haberdashery, they had hardly any pre-cut felt so I had to have a piece cut, the smallest that the woman there would cut was a quarter… What am I going to do with a quarter of lilac felt? Seriously?

After that I decided to go and ask in the tattoo shop how much a small tattoo would cost and how long it would take to do it.
As we looked around a few more shops and stopped for something to eat I thought it over and decided that maybe now is the right time for me to get the tattoo that I’ve wanted for so long. I’ve always felt that it would help me in my “recovery”, and I think that I’ve come far enough along now to be able to cope with the process. So I went back before we got the bus to the supermarket and booked an appointment for Friday. FRIDAY. That’s tomorrow!!!! TOMORROW!!!! I’m a nervous ball of excitement. There’s no way I’m chickening out, my broke butt can’t afford to lose my deposit. Ha! Seriously though, I really can’t wait. I know I’ll panic beforehand, and it’ll be a miracle if I make it through without a panic attack, but I know it’ll all be worth it in the end.


Sep 8th 2011 · 4 notes · Tags: #agorophobia #anxiety
  1. fatbottompurls said: I’m so excited for you! I can’t wait to see it!
  2. therexmannings posted this